Basically, if I were going to unschool my daughter, not do ABA or other early intervention, but also identify her as autistic and search for resources about the autistic experience and what makes life easier, it seemed I would be wrong in all directions and alone. Just me, my partner, and my kid against everyone else.
Instead, I eventually found a ton of online and now even plenty of in-person community. I found beautiful people that respect their kids AND themselves by unschooling neurodiversity.
Then, by learning to identify and address needs, respect neurodiversity and sensory differences, and find pleasure and joy in life as the most powerful learning tool, I started learning to set boundaries. And setting boundaries has led me on a whole other, interconnected journey, of understanding emotional abuse, personality disorders, and CPTSD, which eventually led to the publication of my comic, "What is Kindness?"
So here is an incomplete, hopefully ever-growing list of resources for other parents who want to unschool a non-neurotypical kid, or at the bottom for those on a similar healing journey after emotional abuse.
Please comment and add more!
Autistic Voices
This is the place to start. I’ve found by
immersing myself in the stories of autistic people I can empathize so
much more with my kid. A key example: her not responding to a simple
request, and me feeling angry about having to ask a dozen times. After I
read autistic people’s stories of not processing people’s words and
then being yelled at, I realized my anger had no place.
Amethyst Schaber’s Youtube channel is hands down the first resource I’d recommend to a parent of an autistic kid:https://www.youtube.com/user/neurowonderful
What Every Autistic Girl Wishes Her Parents Knew
This is a beautiful book and not just for parents of girls. It’s empowering, and gives you confidence that truly respecting your kid is best for them in the long run. This is published via the Autism Women’s Network.
https://autisticgirls.com/
https://autismwomensnetwork.org/
The Real Experts
This collection has so many insights from a variety of autistic writers and is an excellent foundation for rethinking ableism and making life accessible and joyful for your kid.
http://www.powells.com/book/the-real-experts-9780986183560/61-0
The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network
This is a network of local groups that advocate for neurodiversity, respecting kids, and against ABA. They offer scholarships and political activism guides to empower the autistic community. They’ve been a force for good in our current political situation in the US.
http://autisticadvocacy.org/
The Reason I Jump by Naoki Higashida
This is a beautiful, piece-by-piece account by an autistic teenager in Japan, co-written with David Mitchell, that gave me a much better initial understanding of what it’s like to be autistic.
The State of Grace by Rachel Lucas
Rachel Lucas’ daughter was diagnosed as autistic, and then she realized she was autistic too. This young adult fiction imagines what an autistic teenager’s daily challenges might be and how a few accommodations and a bit of understanding can make life pretty good.
http://a.co/4UbrIQp
Blogs:
You can find many many blogs here, at Actually Autistic blogs, written by autistic people with descriptions for each link.
https://anautismobserver.wordpress.com/
For parents specifically, the collaborative blog Respectfully Connected has a wealth of reflections on respectfully parenting neurodiverse kids, and many of the articles are written by neurodiverse parents, and several are unschooling oriented.
http://respectfullyconnected.com/
Also for parents, these facebook support groups can be helpful:
Unschooling Every Family: Embracing Neurodivergent and Disabled Learners : Has a wealth of information, links, documents, units, and files; strong admin support; and a large group of helpful, experienced parents.
Unschooling Every Family: Embracing Neurodivergent and Disabled Learners : Has a wealth of information, links, documents, units, and files; strong admin support; and a large group of helpful, experienced parents.
Atypical Unschooling: Defining Our Own Norm : Led by neurodiverse parents, this group provides support, answers questions, and gives insight about how unschooling might look for your family.
Social Justice Radical Unschooling (anti racist) : Where parents come to address the intersection of a variety of social justice questions with unschooling, including disability. Includes admin support for beginning to learn about issues.
Unschooling Disabled Learners : An intimate support group including friendly chats and supportive story sharing.
Homeschooling Misfits: Where Fluffy Unicorn School Happens : A social-justice oriented space for sharing life learning stories from diverse families.
These are blogs that I’ve appreciated:
Hello
Welcome!
https://neurodivergentrebel.com/
http://neurowonderful.tumblr.com/
https://nottootrapped.wordpress.com/2018/02/14/85/
https://anautismobserver.wordpress.com/
https://somegirlwithabraid.wordpress.com/
https://bloggingastrid.com/
Once you’ve read a bit from autistic voices, I’d recommend the facebook group Ask Me, I’m Autistic. But! Either be willing to stay quiet and listen there for a long time, or do some in-depth reading of autistic voices first. The facebook group is an excellent resource where only autistic people comment on posts for the first 24 hours, making a much-needed space. But it’s admins are stretched thin, so please only join if you are ready to listen respectfully!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/askautistics/
Unschooling
I feel there’s been a shift in most online
unschooling discussions recently, where more people have a greater
respect for kids and parents who identify as autistic, adhd, or
otherwise neurodiverse, and use those “labels” as personal identifiers
that help them find community and respect. Some of the sites and
comments that made me so lonely just a few years ago–and guilty for
labeling my kid–have been critiqued as ableist. So while not all of
these unschooling resources will talk about neurodiversity, I’ve found
them excellent guides for unschooling my kid. A lot of people have
favorite unschooling authors, like John Taylor Gatto or John Holt, but I
haven’t found those as helpful as these parents practicing and
discussing unschooling.
Iris Chen's Untigering
Iris frequently posts gems of insight, is critically self-reflective and compassionate, and shares great quotes and resources. Recommended for anyone but her work is especially great for Asian American parents.
Pam Laricchia’s Living Joyfully
Pam has several books, and a new one to come out, that are accessible, friendly, and both practical and philosophical at the same time. She’s unschooled three children. Her podcast is hands-down the best resource I could recommend for new and experienced unschoolers, where she interviews hundreds of parents about what unschooling looks like for their families.
http://livingjoyfully.ca/
Sue Patterson’s Unschooling Mom2Mom
Sue Patterson has moved from mostly facebook group adminning to an email list, podcast, clubhouse chats (an app), and paid guides and services that synthesize a lot of the advice she's given over the years. Still for free she has a lot available, and is good at quick summaries of unschooling approaches. Search through the archives of the facebook groups, or check our the Unschooling Mom2Mom website for more resources.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/UnschoolingMom2Mom/
http://unschoolingmom2mom.com/
Idzie Desmarais’ I’m Unschooled, Yes I Can Write
Idzie is a life long learner–grown unschooler–who is deeply interested in alternative education and has so much to say about the big educational questions that arise when people start unschooling. She also identifies as a queer feminist and has some great reflections on the unschooling community.
http://yes-i-can-write.blogspot.com/
Akilah S. Richards’ Fare of the Free Child
Akilah talks, writes, and discusses unschooling and self-directed education for Black and brown families. She has so many great insights about the specific challenges and joys of unschooling for people of color, and especially about the personal and interpersonal process of deschooling for her family as well as great interviews with people trying to make self-directed education happen in democratic schools.
http://www.akilahsrichards.com/podcast/
Unschooling Every Family: Embracing Neurodivergent and Disabled Learners
I found this group and have been so grateful for it that I now admin. It’s a support group for parents wanting to unschool neurodiverse kids or kids with physical disabilities. A lot of the questions are from people who are new to unschooling, neurodiversity, and/or anti-ableist approaches. There are hundreds of files that can help, and some great unschooling parents and neurodivergent and disabled parents ready to answer questions.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/UnschoolingSpecialNeeds/
I’ve learned about unschooling, autism, and narcissism all in one bundle, and it’s hard to distinguish sometimes. If you’ve come here from my “What Is Kindness” comic, here are some links to help.
Books
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
Healing from Hidden Abuse, Shannon Thomas
The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel Van der Kolk, MD
Why Does He Do That?, Lundy Bancroft
Boundaries, Anna Katherine
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
Life, Abbreviated by Ariel Leve
Educated, Tara Westover
To Throw Away Unopened, Viv Albertine
Bad Indians, Deborah Miranda
Online Resources
outofthefog.website
reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists
pete-walker.com
http://www.standalone.org/uk
https://community.babycenter.com/groups/a4725/dwil_nation
https://www.reddit.com/r/cptsd
Youtube
Inner Integration
Pam has several books, and a new one to come out, that are accessible, friendly, and both practical and philosophical at the same time. She’s unschooled three children. Her podcast is hands-down the best resource I could recommend for new and experienced unschoolers, where she interviews hundreds of parents about what unschooling looks like for their families.
http://livingjoyfully.ca/
Sue Patterson’s Unschooling Mom2Mom
Sue Patterson has moved from mostly facebook group adminning to an email list, podcast, clubhouse chats (an app), and paid guides and services that synthesize a lot of the advice she's given over the years. Still for free she has a lot available, and is good at quick summaries of unschooling approaches. Search through the archives of the facebook groups, or check our the Unschooling Mom2Mom website for more resources.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/UnschoolingMom2Mom/
http://unschoolingmom2mom.com/
Idzie Desmarais’ I’m Unschooled, Yes I Can Write
Idzie is a life long learner–grown unschooler–who is deeply interested in alternative education and has so much to say about the big educational questions that arise when people start unschooling. She also identifies as a queer feminist and has some great reflections on the unschooling community.
http://yes-i-can-write.blogspot.com/
Akilah S. Richards’ Fare of the Free Child
Akilah talks, writes, and discusses unschooling and self-directed education for Black and brown families. She has so many great insights about the specific challenges and joys of unschooling for people of color, and especially about the personal and interpersonal process of deschooling for her family as well as great interviews with people trying to make self-directed education happen in democratic schools.
http://www.akilahsrichards.com/podcast/
Unschooling Every Family: Embracing Neurodivergent and Disabled Learners
I found this group and have been so grateful for it that I now admin. It’s a support group for parents wanting to unschool neurodiverse kids or kids with physical disabilities. A lot of the questions are from people who are new to unschooling, neurodiversity, and/or anti-ableist approaches. There are hundreds of files that can help, and some great unschooling parents and neurodivergent and disabled parents ready to answer questions.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/UnschoolingSpecialNeeds/
Emotional Abuse, CPTSD, Healing, and Narcissism
I’ve learned about unschooling, autism, and narcissism all in one bundle, and it’s hard to distinguish sometimes. If you’ve come here from my “What Is Kindness” comic, here are some links to help.
Books
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
Healing from Hidden Abuse, Shannon Thomas
The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel Van der Kolk, MD
Why Does He Do That?, Lundy Bancroft
Boundaries, Anna Katherine
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
Life, Abbreviated by Ariel Leve
Educated, Tara Westover
To Throw Away Unopened, Viv Albertine
Bad Indians, Deborah Miranda
Online Resources
outofthefog.website
reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists
pete-walker.com
http://www.standalone.org/uk
https://community.babycenter.com/groups/a4725/dwil_nation
https://www.reddit.com/r/cptsd
Youtube
Inner Integration
Lisa Romano
Please comment with any further resources you’d recommend, comments, or questions. I hope I can help.
Please comment with any further resources you’d recommend, comments, or questions. I hope I can help.
No comments:
Post a Comment